FEB. 22, 2026 – No pineapple!
Our congrats go out to all of the athletes that participated in the 2026 Winter Olympics – when the naysayers said pick up your pace, when nothing stopped you or got out of your face, you had adventures all over the place – and now begins four years of a strange, perhaps erotic journey from Milan to Min the French Alps!
FEB. 8, 2026 – You’re an exotic fruit!
Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks on winning their second Super Bowl title, and first since “The Over-Cheer” in 2014! Seems like the big highlight was the commercial featuring Jason Alexander – good thing that Good Will Dunkin’ never made it to air, all we’d see every week is five morons sitting around a coffee shop, whining about their donuts!
JAN. 9, 2026 – Tom Cherones, 1939-2026
Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Tom Cherones, the legendary Seinfeld director from seasons 1-5, who passed away on January 5 at the age of 86. Instrumental in establishing the visual tone of Seinfeld in its infancy, Cherones would direct 81 episodes of Seinfeld between 1990-94, including classic episodes like “The Contest” and “The Chinese Restaurant,” being nominated for three Emmys for directing, and winning an Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series in 1993.
DEC. 31, 2025 – Guess again, Tubby!
Happy New Year to all of our friends and visitors, and here’s to a great 2026! It’s a big night in New York City with the new mayor and all – let’s hope his cholesterol count is low!
DEC. 23, 2025 – An eye for an eye!
We hope this Festivus season brings you all meaningful rest and reflection – and most importantly, none of that “you’ve given my gift to someone else” crap! Don’t you see how wrong that is?! Where’s your Christmas spirit?
NOV. 2, 2025 – You must go now.
Congratulations to the Los Angeles Dodgers on winning their ninth World Series title, and second in a row! Backed by the power of their Japanese stars, they put together a super terrific happy championship run! Those Blue Jays, they’ve forgotten what it’s like to have no oranges.
JUL. 4, 2025 – I drink Pepsi.
We honour several remarkable anniversaries this week – the birth of America, the birth of Seinfeld, and the death of the vomit streak of 1972 and 1980. Which has had the greatest impact on society, you ask? Well, the fabric of society is very complex…
JUN. 22, 2025 – “Involved!”
Congratulations to the Oklahoma City Thunder on winning their first NBA Championship! Good thing they played the Pacers without Reggie Miller, without him its a blowout! And for some reason they kept starting the games an hour late!
JUN. 17, 2025 – Plum!
Congratulations to the Florida Panthers for winning their second consecutive Stanley Cup! It’s not easy repeating as champions – the Panthers had to join a program where they walk around their block three times a week; and every morning, they eat a plum.
JUN. 14, 2025 – We didn’t say that.
Today marks a historic occasion, the first “second spitter” anniversary since the first ever meeting between the Mets and Phillies in the postseason in their 60-plus year rivalry. Now, unfortunately, league rules prevent us from discussing this any further. You understand what we’re talking about? We’re not “talking,” we’re just talking.
MAY 26, 2025 – I have got to unwind!
Today we once again honor those who serve and have served this Memorial Day – we understand outside of today’s parades across the nation there’s a bigger one in a few weeks in the capital? No one knows how long that parade is gonna last – the veterans are a very festive people!
MAY 14, 2025 – We dine.
It’s the 27th anniversary of “The Finale,” 12th anniversary of Maps About Nothing…it’s time to post to celebrate and I’ve got nothing, I’m blank! I’m choking!
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