NOV. 2, 2025 – You must go now.
Congratulations to the Los Angeles Dodgers on winning their ninth World Series title, and second in a row! Backed by the power of their Japanese stars, they put together a super terrific happy championship run! Those Blue Jays, they’ve forgotten what it’s like to have no oranges.
JUL. 4, 2025 – I drink Pepsi.
We honour several remarkable anniversaries this week – the birth of America, the birth of Seinfeld, and the death of the vomit streak of 1972 and 1980. Which has had the greatest impact on society, you ask? Well, the fabric of society is very complex…
JUN. 22, 2025 – “Involved!”
Congratulations to the Oklahoma City Thunder on winning their first NBA Championship! Good thing they played the Pacers without Reggie Miller, without him its a blowout! And for some reason they kept starting the games an hour late!
JUN. 17, 2025 – Plum!
Congratulations to the Florida Panthers for winning their second consecutive Stanley Cup! It’s not easy repeating as champions – the Panthers had to join a program where they walk around their block three times a week; and every morning, they eat a plum.
JUN. 14, 2025 – We didn’t say that.
Today marks a historic occasion, the first “second spitter” anniversary since the first ever meeting between the Mets and Phillies in the postseason in their 60-plus year rivalry. Now, unfortunately, league rules prevent us from discussing this any further. You understand what we’re talking about? We’re not “talking,” we’re just talking.
MAY 26, 2025 – I have got to unwind!
Today we once again honor those who serve and have served this Memorial Day – we understand outside of today’s parades across the nation there’s a bigger one in a few weeks in the capital? No one knows how long that parade is gonna last – the veterans are a very festive people!
MAY 14, 2025 – We dine.
It’s the 27th anniversary of The Finale, 12th anniversary of Maps About Nothing…it’s time to post to celebrate and I’ve got nothing, I’m blank! I’m choking!
FEB. 9, 2025 – Oh, he had it all.
Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles on winning their second Super Bowl title in a blowout over Kansas City down in New Orleans! Serves the Chiefs right, with their coach working as a hand model in a commercial – who does this chucker think he is, Ray McKigney? I certainly hope he has a little more self-control next season!
DEC. 31, 2024 – You know who I saw wilding today?
We tonight say Happy New Year and good riddance to 2024! Over half the people of Earth had elections this season – one wonders if things would have gone differently around the world had candidates proposed name tags?
DEC. 23, 2024 – Yeah, you probably should.
A very happy Festivus to all those who celebrate – in this time of heightened divisiveness in the world, it is comforting to know we can all gather as one to voice our grievances, without fear for persecution of belief. There will be no driving of any families from Bayside!
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