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MAY 14, 2022 – And I’m losin’ it!

Today, on the 24th anniversary of The Finale, we mark the ninth anniversary of Maps About Nothing! Year Nine, an important year. Maybe the most important. So enjoy the celebration, don’t be a year skipper, and most importantly, avoid any beboppin’ and / or scattin’ of any kind!


MAY 5, 2022 – L’occupado!

Wishing you all a very festive Cinco de Mayo! Just remember if you see tequila or mezcal as part of a 99 cent “sale of the century,” stay far, far away!


APRIL 15, 2022 – Liz Sheridan, 1929-2022

Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Liz Sheridan, the iconic comedy star who was best known for playing Helen Seinfeld, but who also had memorable roles in ALF and as a Broadway performer. We can take some comfort in knowing that she will now be reunited with her TV husband Barney Martin, and TV frenemies Jerry Stiller and the recently passed Estelle Harris at the big shuffleboard court in the sky. And how could anyone not like Liz? We will miss you, Liz.


APRIL 2, 2022 – Estelle Harris, 1928-2022

Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Estelle Harris, the legendary comedy star whose career was best defined as Estelle Costanza, but saw her take on roles as diverse as Mrs. Potato Head in the Toy Story franchise, and numerous roles in television and animated projects. We are devastated that this comedy icon is no longer with us, but can take solace in knowing that she will now be reunited with her husband of 68 years, Sy, who passed away in 2021, as well as her legendary TV husband Jerry Stiller, who passed away in 2020. Here’s hoping you don’t walk in on anyone up there wearing a Mansiere, or treating their body like it’s an amusement park! We will miss you, Estelle.


FEB. 20, 2022 – Look like a Stalin!

The 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing have wrapped, with Norway, Germany and hosts China coming away as the big winners…but let us not forget these Olympiad mired in major controversy. A complete failure as a host country, but a helluva cook.


FEB. 13, 2022 – George, we dine.

Congratulations to the Los Angeles Rams on winning their second Super Bowl title, first since 1999, and first in Los Angeles! But enough about that game, who saw LD’s crypto commercial?!? You’ve gotta love sports!


DEC. 31, 2021 – Gonna be rough.

Another year of COVID, seems like we’re finally getting back to normal…then this Omicron? That’s it! We can’t live like this! This is bogus, man! Happy New Year? No such thing.


DEC. 23, 2021 – Nucleosis…

After what we thought was the only Festivus we’d have to have during COVID, it appears that yet again we still have grievances against all these variants. Sure, we can do two years standing on our heads; we’re isolation camels. That’s not the point. At least there was the possibility! Serenity now!


NOV. 2, 2021 – I really like those sons of bitches!

Congratulations to the Atlanta Braves on winning their fourth World Series title, and first since 1995! In fact, the last time they won the World Series? October 28, 1995 – just days after the world was introduced to “The Hot Tub,” and we met those bastards from the Houston Astros…the very same bastards Atlanta just beat to win their title!


AUG. 8, 2021 – Why, separate knob?!?

The postponed 2020 Olympics in Tokyo have wrapped, with the United States, China and Japan coming out the big winners…they obviously knew about the separate knob on the radio alarm. Well done you bastards!


JUL. 20, 2021 – You ever have a man die in your arms?

Congratulations to the Milwaukee Bucks on winning their second NBA Championship, and first since 1971!

Yeah, ’71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abbie Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don’t judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the – sorry, lost my train of thought. Anyways, well done Bucks!


JUL. 7, 2021 – Is that Dutch?

Our congratulations to the Tampa Bay Lightning, for winning their third overall (and second consecutive) Stanley Cup over the Montreal Canadiens! Just make sure if you plan to celebrate with some dirt cheap Montreal cigars that they are real Cubans, none of that “producto de Peru” crap!


JUL. 4, 2021 – How could they be so vain?

We would wish “The Seinfeld Chronicles” a happy 32nd birthday (and America a happy 245th birthday), but we know both they just scratch off the number and put a 31 and 244. This is the Seinfeld and America that only we know.


JUN. 29, 2021 – As good as it gets.

As the world gets back to normal, let us harken back to a simpler time, when the thought of vomiting from a spoiled black and white cookie, breaking a significant streak, left us only with thoughts of mild disgust, not of potentially spreading a deadly virus. Now, let us peek from behind the mask and once again…look to the cookie.


JUN. 14, 2021 – Tough luck, chinless.

Today marks the dark anniversary of the Mets-Phillies Keith Hernandez incident…we earned this with 34 years of misery!


MAY 31, 2021 – That’s an order!

Our eternal thanks go out to those who serve and those who have served – for those who do the walk back in, into no man’s land, and have to crawl all the way back if they get shot down. They can do it, I tell ya!


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