JUL. 4, 2022 – I’ve never had a really good pickle.
A very happy 246th birthday to these United States, and a happy 33rd birthday to “The Seinfeld Chronicles” making its historic debut! Ah, 33 – you haven’t outgrown the problems of puberty, yet you’re already facing the problems of old age. And as some questionable federal judicial decisions lately have shown, you haven’t outgrown the problems of puberty.
JUN. 29, 2022 – Tell that to Bobby Colby!
Another solemn remembrance of the anniversary of Jerry’s vomit streak, which began on this day back in both 1972 and 1980. It may have been fifty years ago, but in our mind, there’s a war still going on…down there.
JUN. 26, 2022 – To the Newmanium!
Congratulations to the Colorado Avalanche on winning their third Stanley Cup, and first since 2001! The year the true millennium began! Which made their parade one year late, and thus, quite lame. Awww!
JUN. 17, 2022 – That’s a cool G, Daddy-O!
Congratulations to the Golden State Warriors on winning their seventh NBA title, and fourth in eight years – and to star guard Stephen Curry for winning his first Finals MVP! I didn’t know Ayesha Curry’s husband played basketball!
JUN. 14, 2022 – I’m leavin’. Jerry’s a nut!
Hard to believe that thirty five years have passed since that fateful day at Shea Stadium – our continued thoughts and prayers to the victims.
JUN. 12, 2022 – Philip Baker Hall, 1931-2022
Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Philip Baker Hall, the character actor who, despite his 50+ year career and numerous collaborations with Paul Thomas Anderson, may perhaps be most famous for his legendary performance as Mr. Bookman in “The Library” in 1991, and for his cameo appearance in “The Finale” in 1998.
MAY 30, 2022 – He’s boring!
Our thanks on this Memorial Day once again to those who serve and those who have served. We encourage you that if you are enlisted, we DO NOT suggest you go AWOL – even if you don’t seem to be having so much fun!
MAY 28, 2022 – George Shapiro, 1931-2022
Our condolences go out to the family and friends of George Shapiro, the talent manager who, along with his partner Howard West, turned one of his up and coming comics, a young comedian named Jerry Seinfeld, into a worldwide phenomenon as a producer of Seinfeld. Thank you George for helping to bring the world of Seinfeld to life, you will be missed.
MAY 14, 2022 – And I’m losin’ it!
Today, on the 24th anniversary of The Finale, we mark the ninth anniversary of Maps About Nothing! Year Nine, an important year. Maybe the most important. So enjoy the celebration, don’t be a year skipper, and most importantly, avoid any beboppin’ and / or scattin’ of any kind!
MAY 5, 2022 – L’occupado!
Wishing you all a very festive Cinco de Mayo! Just remember if you see tequila or mezcal as part of a 99 cent “sale of the century,” stay far, far away!
APRIL 15, 2022 – Liz Sheridan, 1929-2022
Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Liz Sheridan, the iconic comedy star who was best known for playing Helen Seinfeld, but who also had memorable roles in ALF and as a Broadway performer. We can take some comfort in knowing that she will now be reunited with her TV husband Barney Martin, and TV frenemies Jerry Stiller and the recently passed Estelle Harris at the big shuffleboard court in the sky. And how could anyone not like Liz? We will miss you, Liz.
APRIL 2, 2022 – Estelle Harris, 1928-2022
Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Estelle Harris, the legendary comedy star whose career was best defined as Estelle Costanza, but saw her take on roles as diverse as Mrs. Potato Head in the Toy Story franchise, and numerous roles in television and animated projects. We are devastated that this comedy icon is no longer with us, but can take solace in knowing that she will now be reunited with her husband of 68 years, Sy, who passed away in 2021, as well as her legendary TV husband Jerry Stiller, who passed away in 2020. Here’s hoping you don’t walk in on anyone up there wearing a Mansiere, or treating their body like it’s an amusement park! We will miss you, Estelle.
FEB. 20, 2022 – Look like a Stalin!
The 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing have wrapped, with Norway, Germany and hosts China coming away as the big winners…but let us not forget these Olympiad mired in major controversy. A complete failure as a host country, but a helluva cook.
FEB. 13, 2022 – George, we dine.
Congratulations to the Los Angeles Rams on winning their second Super Bowl title, first since 1999, and first in Los Angeles! But enough about that game, who saw LD’s crypto commercial?!? You’ve gotta love sports!
DEC. 31, 2021 – Gonna be rough.
Another year of COVID, seems like we’re finally getting back to normal…then this Omicron? That’s it! We can’t live like this! This is bogus, man! Happy New Year? No such thing.
DEC. 23, 2021 – Nucleosis…
After what we thought was the only Festivus we’d have to have during COVID, it appears that yet again we still have grievances against all these variants. Sure, we can do two years standing on our heads; we’re isolation camels. That’s not the point. At least there was the possibility! Serenity now!
NOV. 2, 2021 – I really like those sons of bitches!
Congratulations to the Atlanta Braves on winning their fourth World Series title, and first since 1995! In fact, the last time they won the World Series? October 28, 1995 – just days after the world was introduced to “The Hot Tub,” and we met those bastards from the Houston Astros…the very same bastards Atlanta just beat to win their title!
AUG. 8, 2021 – Why, separate knob?!?
The postponed 2020 Olympics in Tokyo have wrapped, with the United States, China and Japan coming out the big winners…they obviously knew about the separate knob on the radio alarm. Well done you bastards!
JUL. 20, 2021 – You ever have a man die in your arms?
Congratulations to the Milwaukee Bucks on winning their second NBA Championship, and first since 1971!
Yeah, ’71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abbie Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don’t judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the – sorry, lost my train of thought. Anyways, well done Bucks!
JUL. 7, 2021 – Is that Dutch?
Our congratulations to the Tampa Bay Lightning, for winning their third overall (and second consecutive) Stanley Cup over the Montreal Canadiens! Just make sure if you plan to celebrate with some dirt cheap Montreal cigars that they are real Cubans, none of that “producto de Peru” crap!
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