FEB. 2, 2020 – Freebies!
Our congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs on winning their second Super Bowl title; 50 years since their last title, but more importantly 25 years since the last major Super Bowl in Miami featuring the San Francisco 49ers…really, who goes to the Super Bowl with their mailman? Who goes anywhere with Newman?!?
DEC. 31, 2019 – Aww!!
As we approach the year 2020 and a new decade, we’d like to remind everyone, since there was no year zero, the new decade doesn’t begin until the year 2021. Which would make your party one year late, and thus, quite lame!
DEC. 23, 2019 – Are you happy now?!?
Today we celebrate the totally not made-up, prolific holiday founded by the great Francis Costanza – we solemnly disregard the materialism of traditional holidays, air our grievances and showcase our strength to commemorate yet another Festivus for the rest of us!
NOV. 11, 2019 – Rick Ludwin, 1948-2019
Our condolences go out to the family of Rick Ludwin, the NBC executive who famously took a risk (at the expense of Bob Hope, no less) on a quirky little sitcom called “The Seinfeld Chronicles” in 1989, championing it to the massive success it is today, over thirty years later. We will miss you, Rick.
OCT. 30, 2019 – Why were you making gravel?
Congratulations to the Washington Nationals on winning their first ever World Series, over those bastards from Houston no less! We look forward to celebrating the trophy in the nation’s capital, at a grand location like the Smithsonian…or at least in the dumpster behind the Smithsonian.
JUL. 5, 2019 – How long they been doing this?
We may be a day late in congratulating America from turning 243 years old, as our favorite show about nothing has turned the big 3-0! It’s wonderful to look back now on “The Seinfeld Chronicles,” as all we’ve been doing lately is suffering for the past 21 years, up to and including yesterday!
JUN. 29, 2019 – You remember the date?!?
We gather once again today to remember a remarkable day in Seinfeld history, June 29, 1972 and 1980. In celebration of this tragic, yet historic, day, we will meet again on July 19 for the return of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee. As you were.
JUN. 14, 2019 – What a story!
Today marks thirty two years when *something* happened that changed us all in a deep and profound way front that day forward…
JUN. 13, 2019 – Producto de Peru?
Congratulations to the Toronto Raptors on winning their first ever NBA Championship! Now Canada can be proud for being known for more than just good ducks, knockoff cigars and lesser quarters!
JUN. 12, 2019 – You guys ready?
Congratulations to the St. Louis Blues on winning their first ever Stanley Cup! A devoted fanbase will be waiting for you at The Airport…just make sure not to send the Cup down the baggage claim chute!
MAY 27, 2019 – Anything you say she does!
Our thoughts go out today to everyone that has served, and has fallen, in the service of our country. We encourage you to join the army (they did!), but not to go AWOL (you shouldn’t), even if you are not having so much fun!
MAY 14, 2019 – Here, touch Golden Boy!
See this site, Maps About Nothing? Six years we’ve had this site, it’s our best one! We call it, “Golden Site!” The first site we load out of the browser! Also, “The Finale” is now 21 years old – no longer a boy, but today, a man!
MAY 9, 2019 – Jim Fowler, 1932-2019
Our condolences go out to the family of Jim Fowler, zoologist and host of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, who famously guest-starred in “The Merv Griffin Show” in 1997. Thanks to him, we know so much more about the animal world around us, like that hawks eat squirrels, and Kramer may or may not have practically raised his kids.
MAY 5, 2019 – I’m Gladys Mayo.
Yet another happy Cinco de Mayo to you all! Well…almost all of you. Some of you really stick in our craw!
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