JUN. 14, 2026 – Back…and to the left.
Our congratulations go out to the Carolina Hurricanes on winning their second franchise Stanley Cup – but given today is the tragic anniversary of the “Second Spitter” incident of June 14, 1987, one must wonder…was this Hurricanes victory above board? Does anyone know the whereabouts of Roger McDowell today?
JUN. 13, 2026 – How ’bout those Knicks?
Our congratulations to New York’s very own Knicks, winning their third NBA Championship and first since 1973 – fifty three years! Do you know what the interest on $50 comes to over 53 years? That’s nearly a cool-G, daddy-O – now you gotta let it ride!
MAY 25, 2026 – I’m Nelson!
A very solemn and sincere thank you to all those who have served and sacrificed this Memorial Day – – even if you’ve changed, and don’t know who you are any more, perhaps you should relax and pick up a hobby! Bowling is fun.
MAY 14, 2026 – I renounce Judaism!
It’s a very big anniversary for Maps About Nothing, which also shares a birthday with “The Finale” – this year we turn thirteen! But despite being told we are now a man, apparently we are only thirteen, and The Finale is in their early…twenties. This whole thing was a sham!
FEB. 22, 2026 – No pineapple!
Our congrats go out to all of the athletes that participated in the 2026 Winter Olympics – when the naysayers said pick up your pace, when nothing stopped you or got out of your face, you had adventures all over the place – and now begins four years of a strange, perhaps erotic journey from Milan to Min the French Alps!
FEB. 8, 2026 – You’re an exotic fruit!
Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks on winning their second Super Bowl title, and first since “The Over-Cheer” in 2014! Seems like the big highlight was the commercial featuring Jason Alexander – good thing that Good Will Dunkin’ never made it to air, all we’d see every week is five morons sitting around a coffee shop, whining about their donuts!
JAN. 9, 2026 – Tom Cherones, 1939-2026
Our condolences go out to the family and friends of Tom Cherones, the legendary Seinfeld director from seasons 1-5, who passed away on January 5 at the age of 86. Instrumental in establishing the visual tone of Seinfeld in its infancy, Cherones would direct 81 episodes of Seinfeld between 1990-94, including classic episodes like “The Contest” and “The Chinese Restaurant,” being nominated for three Emmys for directing, and winning an Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series in 1993.
DEC. 31, 2025 – Guess again, Tubby!
Happy New Year to all of our friends and visitors, and here’s to a great 2026! It’s a big night in New York City with the new mayor and all – let’s hope his cholesterol count is low!
DEC. 23, 2025 – An eye for an eye!
We hope this Festivus season brings you all meaningful rest and reflection – and most importantly, none of that “you’ve given my gift to someone else” crap! Don’t you see how wrong that is?! Where’s your Christmas spirit?
NOV. 2, 2025 – You must go now.
Congratulations to the Los Angeles Dodgers on winning their ninth World Series title, and second in a row! Backed by the power of their Japanese stars, they put together a super terrific happy championship run! Those Blue Jays, they’ve forgotten what it’s like to have no oranges.
JUL. 4, 2025 – I drink Pepsi.
We honour several remarkable anniversaries this week – the birth of America, the birth of Seinfeld, and the death of the vomit streak of 1972 and 1980. Which has had the greatest impact on society, you ask? Well, the fabric of society is very complex…
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