The Marine Biologist (season 5, episode 14)

written by Ron Hauge & Charlie Rubin, directed by Tom Cherones
original airdate: February 10, 1994

George starts dating an old classmate when Jerry tells her that George is a successful marine biologist. Elaine’s electronic organizer injures a passerby when her Russian novelist client launches it from their limo. Kramer golfs on the beach.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry convinces Elaine that Tolstoy’s original title for “War And Peace” was “War, What Is It Good For,” leading to disaster for Elaine. George slams Jerry for telling Diane that he is a marine biologist, a fake career choice he apparently takes issue with. Jerry introduces the late, great “Golden Boy.”

Monk’s Café
George delivers perhaps the most memorable speech in the show’s history, highlighting how he, as a pretend marine biologist, miraculously saved the life of a beach whale by removing a golf ball from its blowhole.

SOVIET UNION (now RUSSIA) (map)
Elaine and Jerry discuss Pendant’s newest writing talent, Yuri Testikov, who served time in the Gulag in the former Soviet Union.

airport
Queens, NEW YORK (map)
Elaine mentions her and Lippman will pick up Testikov from the airport in a limo…and Jerry offers her “Golden Boy” for support.

Queens College
65 Kissena Blvd., Flushing, Queens, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Flushing – Main Street (7)
Elaine sees a page about Jerry in the Queens College alumni magazine. Jerry later bumps into Diane DeConn, a former classmate of Jerry and George’s (who was George’s “it girl”), who he tells that George is now a successful marine biologist.

Rockaway Beach, Queens, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Beach 90th Street (A,S)
Kramer suggests he, Jerry and George hit the “600 Titelists in the trunk of my car” into the ocean. This is where George later goes on his mission to save a dying beached whale.

Costanza House
George makes contact with Diane DeConn, talking about squids and plankton as part of his quest to be a pretend marine biologist.

Galapagos Islands, ECUADOR (map)
George tells Diane as part of his marine biologist story that he just got back from a trip here, where he was living with turtles. He later complains to Jerry “you got me in the Galapagos Islands, living with the turtles…I don’t know where the hell I am!”

630 Lexington Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Lexington Avenue – 53rd Street (E,M)
After Elaine cannot stop her organizer from beeping in the limousine, Testikov angrily throws it out the window, where it hits Corinne on the street. The organizer is thrown on to the west side of Lexington, with Citigroup Center (601 Lexington Ave.) visible behind the limousine on the east side of the street. Thank you to Jacob Cleary for identifying the location!

Parc National des Volcans, RWANDA (map)
In a deleted scene, George tells Diane that he spent time in the Galapagos Islands with turtles like Dian Fossey did with gorillas, only “much more intense” due to humidity and resentment from the locals. Fossey lived with and studied mountain gorillas here for nearly twenty years.

Yasnaya Polyana, Tula Oblast, RUSSIA (map)
Mr. Lippman mentions that Tolstoy used to write in the Village Square, where the faces inspired him. However, historical records show that Tolstoy wrote the majority of his work, including “War And Peace,” in his study at his estate in Yasnaya Polyana. If Tolstoy were to write in any village square, it would have likely been in the nearby city of Tula.

Kramer’s Apartment
While Kramer struggles with excess sand stuck to him from the beach, Elaine berates him for giving him a faulty organizer, as she threw out her old book and now is left with no reference book at all.

Dorian Hotel (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Pendant puts up Testikov to write his million-dollar manuscript here. Elaine and Jerry later confront Testikov about the electronic organizer…and the tape recorder beans Corinne in the head after being thrown out the hotel room window.

Massachusetts Medical Society
860 Winter St., Waltham, MASSACHUSETTS (map)
Elaine remarks that if Corinne “ends up in the New England Journal of Medicine (for being hit by Elaine’s organizer), I’m not gonna pay for it.” The journal is printed by the Massachusetts Medical Society, based in Waltham.