Location: Europe
Languages: Croatian
Population: 4,047,200 (2020)
Capital: Zagreb
CROATIA (map)
“The Lip Reader”
Jerry points out the stunning woman on the court, who George mistakes for “the Croat.” The match they are watching was between Mary Pierce of France and Natalia Baudone of Italy, but their section did include a Croatian competitor, Nadin Ercegović.
Nickname: The Gem State
Population: 1,787,065 (2019)
Capital: Boise
IDAHO (map)
“The Masseuse”
Jerry mentions to George that Jodi not wanting to give him a massage instead of sex is like going to Idaho and asking for a carrot: “I like carrots, but I’m in Idaho…I want a potato!”
Nickname: The Land Of Enchantment
Population: 2,096,829 (2019)
Capital: Santa Fe
Santa Fe, NEW MEXICO (map)
“The Cigar Store Indian”
Mr. Lippman mentions to Kramer that his coffee table was custom-made for him in Santa Fe.
Location: South America
Languages: Spanish
Population: 17,708,196 (2021)
Capital: Quito
Galapagos Islands, ECUADOR (map)
“The Marine Biologist”
George tells Diane as part of his marine biologist story that he just got back from a trip here, where he was living with turtles. He later complains to Jerry “you got me in the Galapagos Islands, living with the turtles…I don’t know where the hell I am!”
ECUADOR (map)
“The Little Jerry”
Marcellino flies in a cockfighting rooster from Ecuador that “looks like a dog with a glove on his head,” with a 68-0 record, to fight Little Jerry.
Location: Asia
Languages: Hebrew, Arabic
Population: 9,335,220 (2021)
Capital: Jerusalem
ISRAEL (map)
“The Cigar Store Indian”
Jerry, in saying that society is becoming too racially sensitive, mentions that if someone asks him “which way is Israel, I don’t fly off the handle!”
Location: Europe
Languages: Turkish
Population: 83,614,362 (2020)
Capital: Ankara
TURKEY (map)
“The Non-Fat Yogurt”
Jerry mentions he ad-libbed a bit about the Ottoman Empire (which dissolved into modern-day Turkey) during his act: “What was this, a whole empire based on putting your feet up?”
United States Mission In Turkey
110 Ataturk Blvd., Ankara, TURKEY (map)
“The Secret Code”
Jerry asks if George would be willing to tell him his ATM code if he were locked up in a Turkish prison (“Midnight Express my friend…”), and if the embassy was closed…but his code would be of no use, because according to George, as Turkey is “not on the plus system.”
Location: Europe
Languages: Polish
Population: 38,244,000 (2021)
Capital: Warsaw
Krakow, POLAND (map)
“The Pony Remark”
Manya mentions she had a pony in Poland following Jerry’s infamous remark. Later, at her funeral, the funeral director describes her pony as “The Pride of Krakow.”
POLAND (map)
“The Raincoats”
Newman tells Morty and Helen that Jerry “was moving on her (Rachel) like the stormtroopers into Poland!” when he caught them making out at a showing of “Schindler’s List.”
POLAND (map)
“The Yada Yada”
Jerry believes if Dr. Whatley, now a convert to Judaism, also gets Polish citizenship, “there’ll be no stopping him!” joke-wise.
Languages: Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, English (UNASUR)
Population: 423,581,078 (2018)
Capital: Quito, Ecuador (UNASUR)
SOUTH AMERICA (map)
“The Old Man”
When trying to sell off old records, Kramer and Newman try to hype up Sergio Mendes by claiming that he “can’t even walk down the street in South America! They follow him, like a cult!”
SOUTH AMERICA (map)
“The Sniffing Accountant”
Jerry and Kramer discover their accountant took off to South America on a “business trip,” potentially with their money, thus having Jerry impune the entire continent by claiming that people that go there “come back with things taped to their large intestine!”
SOUTH AMERICA (map)
“The Label Maker”
Kramer takes over the continent from Newman during their epic game of Risk…”and there ain’t nothing you can do about it!”
Andes Mountains, SOUTH AMERICA (map)
“The Abstinence”
George brings up a hypothetical situation of Jerry, George and Kramer flying over the Andes, and who should be eaten first in the event of a crash. The Andes spread across seven South American countries (Argentina, Bolivia, Chile, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, and Venezuela).
story by Lawrence H. Levy, teleplay by Lawrence H. Levy and Larry David, directed by Tom Cherones
original airdate: September 16, 1993
When Jerry learns Elaine faked orgasms with him, he pleads for another chance in bed. Kramer’s banned from his local fruit stand and George discovers the sexual power of mango.
Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry tries convincing Elaine to give him another shot, so she won’t need to fake “it” this time. Kramer begs Jerry to get him fruit after he is banned from Joe’s, and they need to turn to George when Jerry is also banned.
Monk’s Café
Elaine reveals to a stunned Jerry that she faked all orgasms with him when they were a couple.
Pendant Publishing
Elaine asks a fellow coworker if she’s ever faked “it.”
Joe’s Fruit (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Kramer gets banned for trying to return fruit…and Jerry later gets banned for trying to buy Kramer fruit. George eventually gets fruit for both of them, and is reinvigorated sexually by Joe’s mangoes. Although fictional, it is implied throughout the show that Joe’s is very close to Jerry’s, and is based on Bak’s Market (now closed), a fruit stand near Larry David where he was once banned, located at 609 W. 43rd St.
La Boite en Bois
75 W. 68th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 66th Street – Lincoln Center (1)
George’s date Karen mentions that she feels “full” after the risotto, a feeling that she does not experience when with George later.
Peter’s (NOW CLOSED)
182 Columbus Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 72nd Street (B,C)
Jerry and Elaine go out, and discuss the acting abilities of Meryl Streep (and to a more subtle degree, Elaine Benes).
Karen’s apartment
New York, NEW YORK
George spends the night with Karen…and discovers that his sexual abilities do not live up to the risotto.
Elaine’s Apartment
Jerry is parked outside of Elaine’s building after seeing a movie (with the “phoney baloney” Meryl Streep), with Jerry still upset over Elaine’s admission over faking “it” when dating Jerry.
Queens College
65 Kissena Blvd., Flushing, Queens, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Flushing – Main Street (7)
Jerry is seen wearing a Queens College shirt in his apartment.
written by Tom Gammill & Max Pross, directed by Tom Cherones
original airdate: September 30, 1993
George loses his glasses and thinks he sees Jerry’s girlfriend with his cousin Jeffrey. A strange dog bites Elaine and Kramer helps Jerry buy a powerful air conditioner.
Monk’s Café is not featured in this episode.
Jerry’s Apartment
Kramer gets Jerry a new air conditioning unit (the Commando 8), but the unit dislodges and crashes to the street, where it hits the dog that bit Elaine. Jerry criticizes George’s squint-vision after questioning Amy on her possible whereabouts with cousin Jeffrey.
J&T Optical (actually Devonshire Optical)
51 University Pl., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 8th Street – NYU (N,R)
Kramer recommends his friend Dwayne to replace George’s glasses at a discount, Elaine gets bitten in the leg by a random dog, and George claimed to see Jerry’s girlfriend kissing his cousin Jeffrey outside the store…when it was really a policewoman kissing a horse. J&T Optical is mentioned in the episode as being on Columbus Ave., but is clearly Devonshire Optical.
St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center (now Mount Sinai West)
1000 Tenth Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 59th Street – Columbus Circle (A,B,C,D,1)
Elaine gets treated for her dog bite, but gets no rabies shot (“no shot…dog bite. Woof woof, not bang bang!”).
Catskill Mountains, NEW YORK (map)
Jerry mentions George lost his glasses on their way back from the Catskills, and squinted his way from Wurtsboro to the Tappan Zee Bridge.
Wurtsboro, NEW YORK (map)
Jerry mentions George lost his glasses on their way back from the Catskills, and squinted his way from Wurtsboro to the Tappan Zee Bridge.
Tappan Zee Bridge (NOW CLOSED)
Tarrytown, NEW YORK (map)
Jerry mentions George lost his glasses on their way back from the Catskills, and squinted his way from Wurtsboro to the Tappan Zee Bridge. The original was demolished in 2017 and a New Tappan Zee Bridge was constructed.
Dinky Donuts (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Kramer claims that he once “rescued” Dwayne the optician from his sugar addiction at Dinky Donuts, where he found him “cinnamon swirls!”
Joe’s Fruit (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Kramer claims that he had to take Dwayne to Joe’s and “stuff a cantaloupe down his throat” to save his remaining teeth, due to his sugar addiction. Although fictional, it is implied throughout the show that Joe’s is very close to Jerry’s, and is based on Bak’s Market (now closed), a fruit stand near Larry David where he was once banned, located at 609 W. 43rd St.
New York Health & Racquet Club
24 E. 13th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Union Square – 14th Street (L)
George and a blind man in the locker room run into the street in their underwear, in search of cousin Jeffrey and Amy.
Jeffrey’s apartment
New York, NEW YORK
Jerry stops by his cousin’s apartment (running into Uncle Leo), and unsuccessfully tries to trap his girlfriend into admitting she cheated with Jeffrey by using Paul Simon tickets.
Central Park Great Lawn
New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 81st Street – Museum Of Natural History (B,C)
Jerry surprises Amy with tickets to a Paul Simon concert in the park from Jeffrey.
Maps About Nothing. A global guide to Seinfeld. 