The Millennium (season 8, episode 20)

written by Jennifer Crittenden, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: May 1, 1997

Kramer and Newman duke it out to invite their friends to the ultimate New Year’s party. Jerry finds himself in trouble with his girlfriend’s stepmother because of his placement on her speed-dial. George tries to get fired by the Yankees so he can get a scouting job with the Mets. A Putumayo store clerk is rude to Elaine so she recruits Kramer to sabotage the business.

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The Improv is not featured in this episode.

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry mentions his new girlfriend uses her speed dial as a “relationship barometer,” and is later caught in a phone triangle with her and her jealous stepmother. Kramer stores his millennium party favors at the apartment, but is shocked to learn Newman is already hosting his own party. Elaine hires Kramer to help get revenge on Putumayo.

Monk’s Café
George meets with the New York Mets about a potential job as head of scouting, but imply that George would have to be fired from the Yankees first (although they never said that).

Putumayo (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Elaine starts a crusade to destroy Putumayo by shopping at Cinco De Mayo, after being ignored by the saleswoman (who also happens to own both stores). Kramer (in disguise as H.E. Pennypacker) later tries sabotaging the store, but only ends up removing desiccants from all of the clothes.

Valerie’s apartment
46 W. 83rd St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 81st Street – Museum Of Natural History (B,C)
Jerry strives to move up the chain on Valerie’s speed dial, meeting an envious stepmother in the process.

Cinco De Mayo (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Elaine cleans out this store, before learning the owner is the same as Putumayo.

Mongolian BBQ (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Jerry is bumped down on Valerie’s speed dial list, after a bad dining experience here.

Dairy Queen
NEW YORK
George, in trying to find inspiration to get fired by the Yankees, mentions he once got himself fired by cooling his feet in the soft-serve machine. There are no Dairy Queens in any of the five boroughs of New York City.

Barnes & Noble
122 Fifth Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 14th Street – Union Square (N,Q,R)
Jerry gets Valerie a gift certificate here to suck up and move up the speed dial again. “Notes About Nothing” on the Season 8 DVD specifically highlights the flagship store at Fifth Ave. and E. 18th St. The flagship store is no longer here, but Barnes & Noble’s head offices remain at this address.

Yankee Stadium
George meets great difficulty in getting himself fired, breaking into the Hall of Pride, staining Babe Ruth’s jersey, streaking on the field and driving the World Series trophy through the parking lot.

Liana
324 Columbus Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 72nd Street (1,2,3)
Jerry is parked outside this store when Mrs. Hamilton surprises Jerry and tries forcing him off her stepdaughter’s speed dial.

Newman’s Apartment
Kramer chides Newman for holding a competing millennium New Year’s Eve party, and they agree to host the party together…on the condition that Jerry is not invited.

The View @ Marriott New York Marquis
1535 Broadway, New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 47-50th Streets – Rockefeller Center (B,D,F,M)
Newman tells Kramer that he booked “that revolving restaurant that overlooks Times Square” for his millennium party in 1978, featuring Christopher Cross headlining.

Irmat Pharmacy (NOW CLOSED)
2 Park Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 28th Street (6)
Jerry and George pass by here in a cab, where Jerry provides his inspirational “you suck!” speech to cheer George up about not getting fired yet by the Yankees.

Mrs. Hamilton’s apartment
New York, NEW YORK
Mrs. Hamilton sneaks “Jerome” into the Poison Control speed dial, delaying her poisoning since they can’t reach medical assistance.

Kramer’s Apartment
Kramer awakes from a nightmare about the Newmanium party, as he is obviously feeling guilt over Jerry not being invited.

PERU (map)
Kramer (in disguise as H.E. Pennypacker) mentions he’s looking to open a silver mine in the mountains of Peru, and is at Putumayo to learn “their (Peruvian) condiments, their unmentionables, the real gritty gritty.”

Machu Picchu
Cuzco, PERU (map)
When enjoying Putumayo’s complimentary corn chips, Kramer blurts out Machu Picchu, apparently thinking this was the name of the food he was eating.