The Phone Message (season 2, episode 4)

written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld, directed by Tom Cherones
original airdate: February 13, 1991

Paranoid because his new girlfriend hasn’t returned his call, George leaves a series of progressively nasty phone messages on her answering machine. When he learns she’s out of town, George enlists Jerry to help him steal the message tape before she can hear George’s messages.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry has Donna at his apartment, where they bicker over whether the cotton Dockers commercial is worth liking…and over Jerry revealing her hatred of the commercial to Kramer.

Monk’s Café
George reveals his plan to erase any evidence of his phone message – get Jerry into the apartment and swap out the tape.

Empire State Building
350 Fifth Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 34th Street – Herald Square (B,D,F,M,N,Q,R)
Shown in an establishing shot of George and Carol sitting in the car.

parking spot
New York, NEW YORK
Jerry and Donna are shown parked in a car.

Scotland, UNITED KINGDOM (map)
Jerry challenges Donna to try her Scottish accent, which Donna notes sounds more Irish, to which Jerry replies “Irish, Scottish, what’s the difference lassie?”

IRELAND (map)
Jerry challenges Donna to try her Scottish accent, which Donna notes sounds more Irish, to which Jerry replies “Irish, Scottish, what’s the difference lassie?”

North American Aerospace Defense Command
Peterson Air Force Base, Platte Ave. & Powers Blvd., Colorado Springs, COLORADO (map)
George mentions the only people who want coffee “for coffee” at midnight are on 24-hour missile watch at NORAD.

Round Table Room, Algonquin Hotel
59 W. 44th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 42nd Street – Bryant Park (B,D,F,M)
Upon hearing that Donna and her coworkers all love the Cotton Dockers commercial, Jerry snarkily replies that “I bet you got a regular Algonquin Round Table there,” in reference to the famed table of literary critics who met daily for lunch here for nearly ten years.

The Hamptons, Long Island, NEW YORK (map)
Carol doesn’t hear George’s message, as she spent 3 days in the Hamptons and was unable to check her voicemail.

Carol’s apartment
New York, NEW YORK
George sneaks Jerry into Carol’s apartment, to successfully swap out her answering machine tape…to no avail, as she had already heard the message.