The Secretary (season 6, episode 9)

written by Carol Leifer & Marjorie Gross, directed by David Owen Trainor
original airdate: December 8, 1994

Jerry spots his dry cleaner wearing his jacket. George’s unattractive secretary out-earns him. Kramer gets Uma Thurman’s phone number. Elaine discovers that Barneys uses skinny mirrors to hook their customers.

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The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
The gang questions Elaine’s decision to buy her dress from Barneys, but Elaine then realizes that skinny mirrors are the culprit of her transformation from “hotsy totsy” to “hotsy notsy.”

Monk’s Café
Jerry and George discuss George’s unusual offer of a raise for Ada, and Jerry discovers a suspicious movie ticket stub in his jacket pocket.

Nilo Cleaners (NOW CLOSED)
1173 Lexington Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 77th Street (6)
Jerry drops off his hound’s tooth jacket and mother’s fur coat for storage…but it ends up being worn by his dry cleaner Willy and his wife Donna.

Pines Of Mar Gables
Jerry mentions to Willy that his mother keeps her fur coat in his apartment for when she visits from Florida.

Yankee Stadium
George holds interviews for his new assistant, where he hires Ada over a more attractive woman. However, George ends up sleeping with Ada, and agrees to give her a raise during intercourse.

Barneys New York
660 Madison Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 5th Avenue – 59th Street (N,Q,R)
Elaine buys a dress she finds stunning, but at home, looked like she was “carrying twins,” apparently due to “skinny mirrors.” She later wears a dress out on the street, looking for a “non-partisan” mirror, and is forced to buy because of salt stains she tracks on the dress. Kramer goes to buy super hydrating, triple action total protection moisturizer with UVA, but it spills inside his suit and smudges out Uma Thurman’s number (“wait till Uma smells this UVA”). Kramer later sells his suit to Bania for $300, but has nothing to wear out of the store.

Disneyland Hotel
1150 Magic Way, Anaheim, CALIFORNIA (map)
George asks Ada to book off a floor at the Anaheim hotel (revealed to be the Disneyland Hotel on a whiteboard behind George in his office) for a 4-game Yankee series against the Angels. Ada confirms that the hotel has room service until 10PM, and then only finger foods.

Dallas Arms Hotel (NOT REAL)
Dallas, TEXAS
On the whiteboard behind George in his office, a listing for “DALLAS ARMS” is visible, next to a list of games against the Texas Rangers.

Loews Paragon Theater (now AMC Loews 84th Street 6)
2310 Broadway, New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 86th Street (1)
Jerry, Kramer and Elaine go to see a movie, where Jerry spots his dry cleaner wearing his coat, and Kramer meets Uma Thurman, writing her phone number down on Jerry’s dry cleaning ticket.

Mendy’s
61 E. 34th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 33rd Street (6)
Jerry offers Bania dinner in exchange for Kramer’s suit (and his ticket with Uma Thurman’s phone number), and agrees to take Bania to Mendy’s twice. According to Bania, Mendy’s also has “the best pea soup…the best Jerry, the best!”

Cleveland, OHIO (map)
Mr. Steinbrenner tells George how he used to hitchhike to work when he was a young man in Cleveland, once riding in the back of a bakery truck…”I couldn’t look at a donut for the next two years.”