The Face Painter

623 - Face Painter

The Face Painter (season 6, episode 23)

story by Larry David and Fred Stoller, teleplay by Larry David, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: May 11, 1995

Puddy prepares for a hockey game by painting his face like a devil. George tells his girlfriend that he loves her. Kramer gets into a fight with a monkey at the zoo.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry invites the gang to the Rangers game, but Puddy replaces George, after he declares he plans on telling her he loves her. The gang then bugs Jerry to give Alec Berg the day-after-thank-you, which Jerry flatly refuses. Kramer tells Jerry about his altercation with Barry the monkey.

Monk’s Café
Alec Berg gives the gang his Rangers tickets after seeing Jerry at the coffee shop. Jerry and George discuss George’s “matzah ball” of a non-returned “I love you” after Siena doesn’t reciprocate.

ITALY (map)
Jerry mentions Italy in his opening monologue, joking how monkeys have evolved from working with Italian guys and crank organs to going into outer space.

Elaine’s Apartment
Elaine discovers that Puddy is a die-hard New Jersey Devils fan…and a face painter. Elaine convinces him to stop painting his face…but he continues painting in general, now on his chest.

NEW JERSEY (map)
Puddy claims he’s a lifelong Devils fan, growing up in New Jersey. However, the Devils only moved to New Jersey in 1982 from Denver (where they were the Colorado Rockies), so either Puddy is confused, a liar, or a lot older than he looks…

Madison Square Garden
4 Pennsylvania Pl., New York, NEW YORK
(map)
nearest subway: 34th Street – Penn Station (1,2,3)
Jerry, Kramer, Elaine and Puddy go to a Rangers vs. Devils playoff game, which the Devils win. While the Rangers did not play the Devils in the 1995 NHL Playoffs, they did have an epic 7 game series in the 1994 Playoffs, where the Devils won Game 1 4-3 in overtime on a goal by Stephane Richer (as heard on George’s radio when listening to the game). With Kramer saying that there are still three games left in the series, this implies the gang saw Game 1, and that Jerry and Kramer went again with Puddy (having to paint “DEVILS” on their chest) to Game 2.

Central Park Zoo
830 Fifth Ave., New York, NEW YORK
(map)
nearest subway: Fifth Avenue – 59th Street (N,Q,R)
Kramer is scheduled for a behind-the-scenes tour of the zoo from George’s girlfriend Siena, but gets into a fight with Barry the monkey beforehand, throwing a banana peel back at him.

Riverside-Gramercy Chapels (NOW CLOSED)
152 Second Ave., New York, NEW YORK
(map)
nearest subway: Astor Place (6)
Jerry and Elaine go to Gary Fogel’s funeral, and Jerry gets a bad funeral hello from Alec Berg for no follow-up thank you for Rangers tickets.

EL SALVADOR (map)
Puddy terrorizes a priest in a cab visiting New York, who believes he is “El Diablo” for his terrifying makeup and rabid support of the Devil(s).

Upper East Side
New York, NEW YORK

Kramer claims that if Jerry does not want to thank Alec for the Ranger tickets, and thus be a part of society, “why don’t you just get in your car and move to the East Side!?!”

Father Hernandez’s church
New York, NEW YORK

Elaine goes to visit the priest from El Salvador that Puddy terrorized, but coincidentally placed lighting causes the priest to believe he is being visited by the Madonna.

El Salvador

El Salvador

🇸🇻 REPUBLIC OF EL SALVADOR

Location: North America
Languages: Spanish
Population: 6,825,935 (2021)
Capital: San Salvador

FEATURED EPISODES

EL SALVADOR (map)
The Face Painter
Puddy terrorizes a priest in a cab visiting New York, who believes he is “El Diablo” for his terrifying makeup and rabid support of the Devil(s).

Italy

Italy

🇮🇹 ITALIAN REPUBLIC

Location: Europe
Languages: Italian
Population: 59,257,566 (2020)
Capital: Rome

FEATURED EPISODES

Rome, Lazio, ITALY (map)
The Tape
When joking with Kramer’s video camera, Elaine claims how her pornographic “co-star” George plays a pilot returning from Rome, and Elaine “is just about to show him how much I’ve missed him…”

Florence, Tuscany, ITALY (map)
The Pitch / Ticket
Elaine and Dr. Reston are seen together in Florence, with the Florence Cathedral visible in the background, with Reston still concerned about Crazy Joe Davola and his medication. Thanks to Drew for the catch!

ITALY (map)
The Opera
Kramer tries convincing Jerry that people in Italy sing to one another instead of talking, and thus why opera is so popular (“its the language Jerry…the language!”)

Tuscany, ITALY (map)
The Airport
The first-class stewardess tells Jerry and Tia that the airline is featuring wines on their flight from the Tuscany region.

Milan, Lombardy, ITALY (map)
The Movie
The gang all ends up (in very different ways) seeing the movie “Rochelle, Rochelle,” about a young girl’s strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk (which, for the record, is a 1003 mile journey).

Milan, Lombardy, ITALY (map)
The Smelly Car
George loses the video store copy of “Rochelle, Rochelle” (about a young girl’s strange erotic journey from Milan to Minskafter it mysteriously disappears from the smelly car, of which he tries to get compensated by the restaurant that “funked up” Jerry’s car (which, of course, fails miserably).

Tuscany, ITALY (map)
The Couch
Poppie tells Jerry and Elaine the story of how his mother was taken from his childhood home by the Communists when he was ten years old. It is revealed in “The Maestro” that Poppie is from Tuscany.

ITALY (map)
The Face Painter
Jerry mentions Italy in his opening monologue, joking how monkeys have evolved from working with Italian guys and crank organs to going into outer space.

ITALY (map)
The Understudy
In the first of many elaborate stories of foreign intrigue, Mr. Peterman tells Elaine of escaping bulls in his Italian Captoe Oxfords…men’s whole and half sizes 7 through 13; price, $135.

Milan, Lombardy, ITALY (map)
The Understudy
Jerry dates the understudy to Bette Midler in the musical version of “Rochelle, Rochelle,” of which Midler sings a line to Kramer about the eponymous “strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.”

Tuscany, ITALY (map)
The Maestro
The Maestro mentions he hasn’t been in New York for a while as he’s been at his house in Tuscany; when Jerry mentions he finds it beautiful, Maestro immediately tells him no homes are available (“I can’t get a sublet, a guestroom, a cot…nothing?!?”), prompting Jerry to find a place there out of spite. Maestro invites Elaine to stay with him there, and Jerry and Kramer crash the party there as well (“Tuscany…you hear that Jerry? That’s in Italy!”), after getting a place through Poppie, who is revealed to be from “Toscana.”

Tuscany, ITALY (map)
The Doll
Elaine mentions she took a picture with The Maestro of a man in front of a sign reading “Costanza” here, which Frank believes is his long-lost cousin Carlo (the one brother who stayed behind), Frank mentions he was born in Italy, which is why he had no interest in politics, since he can’t be President (“they don’t want me, I don’t want them!”). Elaine reveals the trip was cut short when she spilled red wine on a poster of Maestro’s favorite composer, Jose Carreras (“that other guy”) from the Three Tenors. Frank flies to Tuscany to Costanza Import & Export, where he finds a man named Giuseppe, not Carlo. The map in the episode area between Florence to the north, Siena to the south, San Gimignano (“Manhattan of Tuscany”) to the west, and Arezzo to the east.

Vinci, Tuscany, ITALY (map)
The Friars Club
Kramer tells Jerry “I’m reading this book on Leonardo da Vinci – that means from, Vinci, Jerry…”

Tuscany, ITALY (map)
The Friars Club
In a deleted scene, Mr. Peterman tells Elaine that in lieu of her behavior towards Bob (“nobody likes a tease”), he is sending Bob instead of her to Italy for a month to work on the new Medici handkerchief. The royal House of Medici was based in the Tuscany region.

Milan, Lombardy, ITALY (map)
The Wig Master
Craig tells Elaine that her Nicole Miller dress is shipped by boat from Milan, thus taking longer than expected to arrive at the Andover Shop (which of course is a lie).

ITALY (map)
The Van Buren Boys
Kramer gets backed up onto a cartoon map of Italy by the tough Van Buren Boys at Lorenzo’s Pizza.

Gap
Rome, Lazio, ITALY
(map)
The Butter Shave
Elaine and Puddy argue about their European vacation: “What do you think the Gap in Rome has that’s not at the Gap on Broadway?” The Gap did not open its first store in Rome until July 2011, at Via del Corso, 471-3, 14 years after “The Butter Shave” first aired.

Pines Of Mar Gables

Pines Of Mar Gables

PINES OF MAR GABLES (NOT REAL)

First home of Jerry’s parents, Morty and Helen, in a retirement community in Florida, from Seasons One through Seven. Not a real location, but based on Florida retirement communities like Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, etc.

FEATURED EPISODES

The Pony Remark
Jerry mentions in his opening monologue that his parents live in Florida, not because they want to, but because “they’re in their sixties, and that’s the law.” Morty and Helen fly in from Pines Of Mar Gables to visit Manya. Morty: “she made me fly all the way from Florida for this, then she criticizes my jacket.”

The Statue
Jerry mentions he was going to send his grandfather’s things to his parents in Florida, but they didn’t want it. Jerry later tells Rava his mother is in Florida, when she tells how her mother abandoned her family as a child.

The Chinese Restaurant
Jerry mentions that his aunt will call his mother in Florida, upon realizing Jerry didn’t say hello to a mutual friend he didn’t recognize.

The Pen
The site of the entire episode. Jerry and Elaine stay with Morty and Helen, experiencing overheating, upside-down space pens, foldout bed bars, chiropractors and dinner checks for $19.45. Jerry also mentions his parents in his opening monologue, noting how old people do not wear bathing suits, they wear “trunks.”

The Outing
Jerry’s parents discover the article claiming he and George are a couple, and Morty blames Helen for his supposed sexuality: “it was those damn culottes you made him wear when he was 5!”

The Pilot
Jerry’s parents are seen watching the pilot at home, with Helen once again asking “how could anybody not like him?”

The Wife
Jerry’s parents call when they hear from Uncle Leo that Jerry got fake-married.

The Raincoats
Morty calls Jack Klompus to have him courier his raincoats overnight. The Seinfeld’s condo is later robbed upon their return, since Jack never fixed the broken window to their garage he had to break to get inside.

The Secretary
Jerry mentions to Willy that his mother keeps her fur coat in his apartment for when she visits from Florida.

The Kiss Hello
Morty calculates that Uncle Leo owes Helen $663.45, with 5% interest compounded quarterly from track winnings he was given by their father as a child.

The Doodle
Elaine uses Jerry’s parents address as her own in her interview with Viking Press, in order to get a free stay at the Plaza Hotel.

The Cadillac
Jerry surprises his parents by giving his father a Cadillac, which ultimately leads to Morty’s downfall and impeachment as condo board President due to a fraud scandal, forcing Morty and Helen to leave the complex for Del Boca Vista.

The Money
Jerry flies back to Florida to buy his car back from Jack Klompus. Jerry later maxes out his credit cards by cleaning up the car (after Jack drives it into a swamp), and ends up sleeping in it, since Jack won’t let him stay in his condo.

The Wizard
Helen mentions that Morty can’t run for condo president in Del Boca Vista, as he was impeached once before…to which Morty says he in fact only “resigned.”