The Cartoon (season 9, episode 13)

written by Bruce Eric Kaplan, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: January 29, 1998

Elaine draws a cartoon for “The New Yorker.” George dates a woman who resembles Jerry. Kramer takes a vow of silence. Jerry contends with Sally Weaver over her one-woman show. Kathy Griffin guest stars.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv is not featured in this episode.

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry yells at Kramer to keep his mouth shut, and Kramer vows to never speak again as a result. The gang meets George’s girlfriend Janet, who Kramer sees as being a “she-Jerry” that proves George secretly loves Jerry. Elaine reveals she is now a cartoonist for “The New Yorker.”

Monk’s Café
Jerry convinces Sally to stay in show business, but it backfires when she starts a one-woman show mocking Jerry. Kramer breaks his vow of silence to Sally, giving her more details about Jerry’s life. Elaine gets Jerry and George to help her understand the latest “New Yorker” cartoon.

The New Yorker (NOW CLOSED)
4 Times Sq., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Times Square – 42nd Street (1,2,3,7,N,Q,R,S)
Elaine visits the office (pretending to be representing J. Peterman), to discover the true meaning behind a cartoon bothering her. Elaine ends up creating a cartoon for them, claiming to draw better cartoons than the current artists. The New Yorker’s offices moved to 285 Fulton St. in 2015.

Samuel Beckett Theatre
410 W. 42nd St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 42nd Street – Port Authority Bus Terminal (A,C,E)
Jerry goes to see Sally Weaver’s one-woman show, and is berated by her throughout. “Jerry Seinfeld Is The Devil” goes on to become a smash hit across New York.

Janet’s apartment
501 Cathedral Pkwy., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Cathedral Parkway (1)
George visits Janet’s apartment, and contemplates how his relationship with her is like a relationship with Jerry, but with sex. Janet later cuts out the gum from her hair, sending George sprinting from the apartment due to her now looking identical to Jerry.

J. Peterman
Elaine shows off her New Yorker cartoon at her office, until she discovers its a ripoff of a “Ziggy” cartoon, as discovered by Mr. Peterman.

Po (NOW CLOSED)
31 Cornelia St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: West 4th Street – Washington Square (A,B,C,D,E,F,M)
George and Janet go out for dinner, with George desperately trying to figure out any reason other than looks for them being together…and can only come up with a shared enjoyment of gum.

The Reverse Peephole (season 9, episode 12)

written by Spike Feresten, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: January 15, 1998

Puddy gets a “man fur,” much to Elaine’s chagrin. George’s giant wallet leaves him with a sore back. Jerry abandons his wallet in favor of a European carry-all. Kramer installs a reverse peephole in his door. The landlord threatens to evict Newman.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv is not featured in this episode.

Jerry’s Apartment
George reveals he bought a massage chair as a gift, but kept it for himself due to his oversized wallet. Kramer has to convince their super to reverse Newman’s eviction…even though Newman is sleeping with the super’s wife. Kramer reveals he found Joe Mayo’s fur coat, and makes Jerry wear it to let Kramer and Newman stay in the building.

Monk’s Café
George chides Jerry for not carrying a wallet, but Jerry turns the tables when he sees George’s enormous wallet. Elaine complains about having to replace Joe Mayo’s coat, the same as Puddy’s “Dr. Zaius” fur.

Kramer’s Apartment
Kramer and Newman decide to reverse their peepholes, leading to catastrophe with their superintendent Silvo…leading to both of them nearly being evicted.

Newman’s Apartment
Newman reverses his peephole along with Kramer, but due to the super’s dislike of him, evicts him before Kramer steps in.

Bloomingdale’s
1000 Third Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Lexington Avenue – 59th Street (N,Q,R)
Elaine wants to buy Joe Mayo a massage chair from here as a housewarming gift from the gang, but George vows to buy it for less from another retailer.

DELAWARE (map)
George discovers The Drake’s massage chair gift for $60 less than Bloomingdale’s, and decides to have it shipped from Delaware…but ends up keeping it for himself to soothe his chronic back problems, due to his “morbidly obese” wallet.

IRELAND (map)
After George claims he needs everything in his wallet, Jerry discovers Irish pounds in there, to which George proclaims “I might go there!”

Exxon
Orlando, FLORIDA (map)
When trying to prove George doesn’t need everything in his overstuffed wallet, Jerry discovers a card for a free “Save The Tigers” poster from any Orlando-area Exxon station. As of this writing, there are 10 Exxon-Mobil stations in the city of Orlando.

Joe Mayo’s apartment
W. 88th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
The gang goes to Joe Mayo’s housewarming, where Jerry is banned from the CD player, and Elaine tries tossing Dr. Zaius from the apartment…only to realize the coat belongs to Joe. Silvio the landlord later ambushes Mayo here with a sock full of pennies.

George’s Apartment
George accidentally has Joe Mayo’s massage chair delivered to him, but decides to keep it (and not tell the gang) after realizing how much it helps his back.

Pacific Northwest
OREGON (map)
Newman tells Kramer that he learned to climb trees (like “a ring-tailed lemur,” according to Kramer) in the Pacific Northwest. The American side of the Pacific Northwest is traditionally understood to be Washington and Oregon.

Pacific Northwest
WASHINGTON (map)
Newman tells Kramer that he learned to climb trees (like “a ring-tailed lemur,” according to Kramer) in the Pacific Northwest. The American side of the Pacific Northwest is traditionally understood to be Washington and Oregon.

Elaine’s Apartment
Elaine invites over Newman to discuss the fur coat…even forcing her to actually hit on Newman. Puddy later debuts his 8-Ball jacket at Elaine’s, saying the fur made Jerry look like a “dandy.”

The Strongbox (season 9, episode 14)

story by Dan O’Keefe & Billy Kimball, teleplay by Dan O’Keefe, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: February 5, 1998

Kramer acquires a strongbox to keep his valuables. George’s girlfriend refuses to break up with him, even when he dates another woman. Jerry grows suspicious of a neighbor who may or may not live in his building. Elaine dates a homeless man.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv is not featured in this episode.

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry refuses to let someone in the building, who turns out to be his neighbor Phil from down the hall. Phil exacts revenge by allowing his parrot, Fredo, to sit and squawk in the hallway. Kramer purchases a strongbox to hold his “irreplaceables” after a robbery in the building.

Monk’s Café
George devises a plan to date two women simultaneously, so that he will have a valid reason for his first girlfriend to dump him. They all meet at the coffee shop, but want to both continue seeing George. Elaine questions how to end her relationship with the “got-no-Green Lantern.”

Phil’s apartment
129 W. 81st St., Apt. 5E, New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 81st Street – Museum Of Natural History (B,C)
Jerry discovers that a man he refused to let in the building earlier not only lives in the building, but next door to Kramer. As revenge, Phil leaves his pet bird Fredo in the hallway, until Kramer silences it when it swallows Kramer’s strongbox key. Phil’s apartment is shown as 5E, which contradicts Newman’s Apartment, which for most of the series was shown as being 5E, and is shown as clearly being down the hall from Jerry and Kramer.

George’s Apartment
George has difficulty dumping Maura, and later Loretta, who he ends up dating simultaneously, with both women knowing about the other.

New York Friars Club
57 E. 55th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 5th Avenue – 53rd Street (E,M)
Jerry mentions he is going to a roast here, and buys Jerry Lewis’ cufflinks in the hopes of striking up a conversation with him.

St. Marks Hotel
2 Saint Marks Pl., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Astor Place (6)
Glenn lives in a dumpy apartment next door to the hotel, which Elaine (a.k.a. “Lois Loan”) pays to refurbish…until she discovers he’s married AND poor.

MAINE (map)
Loretta mentions she went to Maine for a few days, when George asks about her perpetually dark complexion.

Hartsdale Pet Cemetery
100 North Washington Ave., Hartsdale, NEW YORK (map)
Jerry and Kramer head to the pet cemetery to dig up Fredo the parrot, in the hopes of finding the strongbox key. The nearest pet cemetery to Manhattan is the Hartsdale Pet Cemetery.

ELAINE’S APARTMENT #1
17 E. 7th St., NEW YORK, NEW YORK (map)

Elaine’s apartment that she shares downtown with her roommate Tina (who she later sublets from), from the start of the series until the end of Season Five. Although the exterior of the building shown is actually 448 Central Park W., multiple episodes reference Elaine living downtown, and the official Sony Pictures “Seinfeld” map shows the 7th St. address.
nearest subway: Astor Place (6)

FEATURED EPISODES

“The Stock Tip”
Elaine mentions she lost a grape in her apartment, thus being late to meet Jerry and George.

“The Ex-Girlfriend”
Elaine mentions how she is on a no-talk basis with a teacher in her building.

“The Bet”
In the first draft of the abandoned script, Elaine shocks Jerry and George by stating she intends to buy a handgun for protection, after she tells them a woman in her building was mugged the previous evening, the sixth person she knows who were mugged in the past year.

“The Deal”
Elaine and Jerry experience their first issues with their “deal,” after Jerry tries to leave after having sex without staying for the night.

“The Baby Shower”
Elaine mentions she would host the baby shower, but her roomate has Epstein-Barr syndrome “with a twist of Lyme disease.”

“The Busboy”
Elaine frantically tries getting her boyfriend Ed to the airport on time, even making him wear her sweater when they are running late.

“The Truth”
Elaine gets fed up with Kramer for constantly being in her apartment with Tina, putting in windshield coffee tables, “red-saucing” her strainer and walking in on her naked, thinking that her bedroom was a closet.

“The Tape”
George drives Elaine home, and is extremely resilient in avoiding the urge to go in to the apartment, as he is extremely attracted to Elaine after discovering she was the voice on the tape.

“The Nose Job”
Audrey is revealed to be staying with Elaine while Tina is out of town, and reveals her first nose job to the gang, causing Kramer to declare “you were butchered!” and making George faint.

“The Fix-Up”
Elaine tries convincing Cynthia to go out with George, offering a rather unflattering description of George in the process.

“The Boyfriend”
Elaine and Keith Hernandez are parked outside her building, where Keith makes a move on her.

“The Good Samaritan”
Elaine is on the phone with Jerry at her apartment when Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run. Elaine later accidentally gives away Robin’s location to Michael when he is looking for her, essentially revealing their extramarital affair.

“The Keys”
George tries getting his keys back from Elaine, who is now considering taking Jerry’s key instead. Jerry and George later try retrieving Jerry’s key from the apartment, when they stumble upon a Murphy Brown spec script Elaine is writing in secret.

“The Contest”
Elaine is seen tossing and turning in bed, struggling to sleep due to the Contest. Elaine also reveals that she lives downtown, as she had to lie about living near Jerry to split a cab with John F. Kennedy Jr., after which she headed back downtown.

“The Pick”
Elaine mentions she sent a Christmas card with her nipple showing to the superintendent of her building.

“The Mango”
Jerry is parked outside of Elaine’s building after seeing a movie (with the “phoney baloney” Meryl Streep), with Jerry still upset over Elaine’s admission over faking “it” when dating Jerry.

“The Sniffing Accountant”
Elaine and Jake Jarmel have a fight over their differences regarding exclamation points, after Jake fails to “capture the moment” of an exciting phone message for Elaine.

“The Masseuse”
Elaine and Joel Rifkin argue over potential new names for Joel…including Stewart, Todd, Ned or Remy.

“The Cigar Store Indian”
Elaine hosts a girl’s poker night, when Jerry brings over the cigar store Indian as a gift for Elaine, offending Winona.

“The Conversion”
Elaine offends her podiatrist boyfriend by telling him that he’s not really a doctor. He later discovers the fungal cream tube in Elaine’s medicine cabinet, making him question his relationship with her.

“The Stall”
Elaine questions Tony on the words “radical reconstructive surgery” following his rock climbing accident. George tries to reconcile with Tony, but Tony and Elaine tell George to “step off” once and for all.

“The Stand-In”
Phil Tatola drops off Elaine at her apartment…but not before taking “it” out in the car.

“The Raincoats”
Elaine questions Aaron the close-talker as to why he loved going to the museum with the Seinfelds so much.

“The Opposite”
Elaine reveals she’s been subletting her apartment from Tina, who moved out four years earlier. Elaine then gets evicted for buzzing up a jewel thief on Thanksgiving, buzzing up Jehovah’s Witnesses, and for using Canadian quarters in the laundry machine.

The Frogger (season 9, episode 18)

story by Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin and Steve Koren & Dan O’Keefe, teleplay by Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: April 23, 1998

George concocts a grand scheme to maintain his high score on an old Frogger video game machine. Elaine eats antique cake at Peterman’s. Kramer nabs some caution tape from the police station, where he hears of a neighborhood serial killer. Jerry dates a sentence finisher.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv is not featured in this episode.

Jerry’s Apartment
Elaine sets up Jerry with Lisi, her sentence-finisher friend. Kramer warns the gang of a local serial killer, “The Lopper,” and shares his ideas for the killer’s nickname. Elaine vents about the nonstop cake parade at her office, but admits she ate $29,000 cake.

Monk’s Café
George announces he’s buying the Frogger machine, but doesn’t know how to keep it plugged in. He consults with Kramer and his “friends” Shlomo and Slippery Pete to organize the electrical transfer. Kramer suggests Elaine try replacing the Windsor cake with an Entemann’s.

J. Peterman
Elaine suffers from over-caking due to endless office parties…but later experiences a daily 4:00 sugar crash, and is forced to eat Mr. Peterman’s vintage cake (and subsequently try to replace it).

Mario’s Pizza (actually Five Roses Pizza, now Iggy’s Pizzeria)
173 First Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: First Avenue (L)
Jerry and George visit their old high school hangout for one last slice before it closes, and George buys the Frogger machine with his high score on it.

Riverside Park
New York, NEW YORK (map)
Kramer tells Jerry and Elaine he got inside word from his police friend on a new serial killer striking around the park, called “The Lopper.”

Lisi’s apartment
W. 84th St. and Riverside Dr., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 86th Street (1)
Jerry spends nine hours breaking up with Lisi, and frantically tries getting back with her when face to face with a potential Lopper. The building’s awning says 451, but W. 84th St. only runs to Riverside Dr., only to the number 350.

Pennsylvania Dutch Country
PENNSYLVANIA (map)
Lisi surprises Jerry with a trip here, only because Jerry slept with her out of fear of “The Lopper.” Dutch Country is based in the cities of York, Lancaster, Hershey, Reading and Allentown.

Sotheby’s
1334 York Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 68th Street – Hunter College (6)
Elaine is seen searching through Sotheby’s auction listings to try and replace Mr. Peterman’s antique cake he bought from here (Kramer: “Sotheby’s…they make good cake!”).

Windsor Castle
Berkshire, England, UNITED KINGDOM (map)
Mr. Peterman asks Lubeck whether Entemann’s has a castle at Windsor, but discovers they only have a display case at the end of the aisle.

GEORGE’S APARTMENT #1
321 W. 90th St., NEW YORK, NEW YORK (map)

George’s apartment from the start of the series until he is unemployed and forced to move back in with his parents in Season Five.
nearest subway: 86th Street (1)

FEATURED EPISODES

“The Ex-Girlfriend”
George mentions how Marlene “seduced him” in his apartment by stealing his seat.

“The Bet”
In the first draft of the abandoned script, George claims that after his apartment was broken into a few times, he kept a sword under his bed for protection.

“The Parking Garage”
George panics that his parents are waiting in front of his building for their anniversary dinner, while he is lost in the garage.

“The Fix-Up”
George calls Jerry to tell him about his date with Cynthia, where it is revealed that the two had sex at his apartment, but since George felt uncomfortable with it being the first date, he thought he would perform better in the kitchen, where they had sex with Cynthia’s head on a hot plate.

“The Good Samaritan”
George and Robin “commit adultery” by sleeping together at his apartment. This is the only time in the series where the exterior of George’s first apartment is shown.

“The Contest”
George is seen tossing and turning in bed, struggling to sleep due to the Contest.

“The Pick”
George claims that now that he is alone after Susan, he will spend his days in his disgusting apartment eating Chinese takeout in dirty laundry.

“The Junior Mint”
George claims that Roy’s art he purchased (the triangles) really spruce up his apartment.

The Good Samaritan (season 3, episode 20)

written by Peter Mehlman, directed by Jason Alexander
original airdate: March 4, 1992

Jerry starts dating a beautiful hit and run driver, then is torn when he meets the victim and realizes he’d rather date her. Mary Hart’s voice causes Kramer to have convulsions. George has an affair with Elaine’s married friend.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

Monk’s Café is not featured in this episode.

The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry has to sustain the lie of Angela’s hit-and-run amongst the gang, until she is eventually exposed. Kramer suffers another seizure at the sound of Mary Hart’s voice when Jerry and Elaine watch “Entertainment Tonight.”

Elaine’s Apartment
Elaine is on the phone with Jerry at her apartment when Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run. Elaine later accidentally gives away Robin’s location to Michael when he is looking for her, essentially revealing their extramarital affair.

Queens, NEW YORK (map)
Jerry claimed in his lie to Elaine that he followed the hit-and-runner over the bridge into Queens, where he then got into a fight.

AUSTRALIA (map)
Kramer claims that a sick, mentally disturbed person like Jerry’s girlfriend Angela should be sent to Australia, as England used to send their disturbed people there when it was a penal colony.

England, UNITED KINGDOM (map)
Kramer claims that a sick, mentally disturbed person like Jerry’s girlfriend Angela should be sent to Australia, as England used to send their disturbed people there when it was a penal colony.

Pasta Vicci (NOW CLOSED)
410 Amsterdam Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 79th Street (1)
Elaine and George go to dinner with Robin and Michael, where George leads to the couple’s ultimate breakup when he issues an ill-timed and snarky “god bless you” to Robin.

SWITZERLAND (map)
Elaine, at dinner with George, Robin and Michael, tells them about how she dated a matador named “Eduardo Carrochio,” who she met at a bullfight in Switzerland.

parking spot
New York, NEW YORK
Jerry and Angela are parked, eating ice cream, while Jerry subliminally drops hints about how Anthony Quinn and Kirk Douglas, while both bad drivers, always are sure to own up to their driving mistakes.

Albany, NEW YORK (map)
Elaine claims that Kramer is getting seizures due to Mary Hart’s voice, just like a woman in Albany.

Becky Gelke’s apartment
309 W. 93rd St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 96th Street (1,2,3)
The apartment of the victim of Jerry’s hit-and-run girlfriend, who Jerry tries to ask out, but Kramer ends up successfully wooing her. Kramer claims her apartment is across the street from his apartment, but unless he has super vision that he can see 12 blocks ahead, the scaffolding tells the truth. Thanks Erkan B. for the tip!

George’s Apartment
George and Robin “commit adultery” by sleeping together at his apartment. This is the only time in the series where the exterior of George’s first apartment is shown.

Zabar’s
2245 Broadway, New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 79th Street (1)
Jerry claims a girl might run into a matador on the Upper West Side at Zabar’s…or Ray’s Pizza (of which there are too many in New York City to possibly list).

The Wait Out (season 7, episode 23)

story by Peter Mehlman & Matt Selman, teleplay by Peter Mehlman, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: May 9, 1996

George makes a remark that breaks up a married couple. Jerry and Elaine pounce as they’ve been waiting out the relationship for years. Kramer slips into a pair of tight jeans and can’t get out. Debra Messing and Cary Elwes guest star.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
George feels guilt over breaking up the Lookners, and has to physically fight off Jerry and Elaine to make things right. Jerry implies that Kramer can’t fit into jeans, so he buys a pair of slim-fit Dungarees, which renders his mobility to Frankenstein-like speed.

Monk’s Café
George’s folksy “you could have done a lot better than him” remark breaks up Beth and David Lookner, with Jerry and Elaine pouncing on the rebound. David later reciprocates the comment to Susan, making her rethink her engagement to George. Jerry and Elaine devise the “I’m there for you” comment to win them Beth and David’s affection.

SWEDEN (map)
Kramer remarks to Jerry that he has the body of a “taut, pre-teen Swedish boy.”

Mrs. Zanfino’s apartment
129 W. 81st St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 81st Street – Museum Of Natural History (B,C)
Kramer babysits his neighbor’s Mrs. Zanfino’s son Joey, scaring him out of the apartment and into the streets with him thinking he’s Frankenstein, on account of his extra-tight jeans. Mickey then “stands-in” as Joey in bed, but is quickly caught by a horrified Mrs. Zanfino.

JoJo
160 E. 64th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Lexington Avenue – 63rd Street (F)
Jerry goes for dinner with Beth Lookner, to make sure she knows “he’s there” for her following her divorce.

restaurant
New York, NEW YORK
Elaine goes for dinner with David Lookner, to make sure he knows “she’s there” for him. He continually asks himself questions, and then answers them to himself, regarding his divorce.

The Actors Studio
432 W. 44th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 42nd Street – Port Authority Bus Terminal (A,C,E)
Mickey auditions here for a role, and thanks to his rage over Kramer’s inability to sit down in his skin-tight jeans, gets into the studio, as they believe that was the scene. “Notes About Nothing” from the Season 7 DVD state Mickey was likely enrolled in the Drama School, which was open at The New School (151 Bank St.) from 1994-2005.

Ithaca, NEW YORK (map)
Mickey auditions for a part (with Kramer) by doing a scene from the fictional play “Flesh Wounds In Ithaca.”

Beth Lookner’s apartment
1125 Park Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 86th Street (4,5,6)
George shows up at Beth’s, roughed up after a scrap with Jerry, to apologize for his comment that ended her marriage and try to salvage the relationship, much to Jerry’s chagrin. This is the same building exterior as Russell’s condo in “The Watch” and “The Shoes,” and Heather’s apartment in “The Chicken Roaster.”

Mickey’s apartment
New York, NEW YORK
Kramer calls Mickey away from a date to “stand in” as Joey, to repay the favor of Kramer inadvertently getting Mickey into The Actor’s Studio.

David Lookner’s apartment
300 W. 72nd St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 72nd Street (1,2,3)
Elaine and David toast to their new relationship, just as Beth shows up, and Beth and David passionately reconcile.

George’s Apartment
After much soul-searching and thought about the wedding…Susan tells George that she’s decided she wants to go with the chicken.

NYPD Precinct
New York, NEW YORK
Kramer is taken in for questioning after chasing Joey through the streets, but cannot sit down due to his ultra-slim jeans.

The Watch (season 4, episode 6)

written by Larry David, directed by Tom Cherones
original airdate: September 30, 1992

Jerry tries to buy his watch back from Uncle Leo to appease his parents. Meanwhile, George pleads with the NBC executive to reconsider their pilot deal. Elaine enlists Kramer in a plan to break up with Dr. Reston.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

Monk’s Café is not featured in this episode.

The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry gives his father a new wallet to replace the old one, sneaking in $400 cash for good measure.

La Boite en Bois
75 W. 68th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 66th Street – Lincoln Center (1)
Jerry continues his lie about the whereabouts of his watch over dinner with his parents and Uncle Leo, and is pressed by his mother to ask out the waitress Naomi, who Jerry later discovers laughs like “Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer.”

parked spot
New York, NEW YORK
Susan tells George that the deal is off with Jerry and George, with George backpedaling to blame the deal’s refusal on Jerry. This is same spot as where George refused the original deal in “The Wallet.”

Kramer’s Apartment
Elaine and Kramer mull over the details of their “relationship” for the benefit of Dr. Reston in Kramer’s apartment.

Russell Dalrymple’s condo
1125 Park Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 86th Street (4,5,6)
George barges in on Russell and a date having dinner, getting the pilot back for $8000, $5000 below the original offer. This is the same building exterior as Beth’s apartment in “The Wait Out,” and Heather’s apartment in “The Chicken Roaster.”

Dr. Reston’s office
New York, NEW YORK
Kramer goes to speak with Dr. Reston, and ends up becoming enamored with him…just as Elaine meets Crazy Joe Davola outside. Kramer notices how the building is “architecturally incorrect” as the doors are designed diagonally.

Mount Rushmore National Memorial
13000 South Dakota 244, Keystone, SOUTH DAKOTA (map)
Elaine tells Crazy Joe Davola that her face replaced “trustbuster” Teddy Roosevelt on Mount Rushmore, and that’s why she looked so familiar to him.

The Van Buren Boys (season 8, episode 14)

written by Darin Henry, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: February 6, 1997

Jerry’s girlfriend seems perfect but no one else likes her. George discovers a mediocre student to be the first Susan Ross Foundation Scholar. Peterman enlists Elaine to ghostwrite his autobiography. When Peterman buys the rights to Kramer’s life stories, Elaine struggles to work with him and Kramer faces a life without his own past.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv is not featured in this episode.

Jerry’s Apartment
George and Kramer hold an “intervention” for Jerry over dating a loser. Kramer tells his spectacular Van Buren Boys story, but is forced to come up with new life stories once he sells his stories to Peterman. George vents over having to continually give away the Ross’ money to anyone but him.

Monk’s Café
Jerry consults with George to find a flaw with Ellen – but senses something is amiss when he brings his parents in to meet her, and they love her. George talks about the possibility of having Steven Koren be like George, but only for real.

Da Silvano (NOW CLOSED)
260 Sixth Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Houston Street (1)
Jerry and Ellen go for dinner here, on what turned out to be her birthday…making Jerry suspicious as to why she is not with friends on her birthday.

Susan Ross Foundation (NOT REAL)
115 Remsen St., Brooklyn, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Borough Hall (2,3)
George interviews student candidates for the Susan Ross scholarship, and picks essentially a younger version of him, a “regular guy, likes sports, watches TV…he knows how to read!” Thanks Erkan B. for the tip!

Lorenzo’s Pizza (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Kramer almost gets accosted by the Van Buren Boys here, but accidentally flashes their secret sign. He says that their pizza, however, “was a little oily.” There is no Lorenzo’s in Manhattan, with the nearest being at 1100 South Ave. in Staten Island.

ITALY (map)
Kramer gets backed up onto a cartoon map of Italy by the tough Van Buren Boys at Lorenzo’s Pizza.

coffee shop (NOT REAL)
New York, NEW YORK
Jerry meets Ellen’s friends outside a coffee shop, where her friends profusely thank Jerry for seeing Ellen, as if it is an act of charity.

Mr. Peterman’s apartment
211 W. 106th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 103rd Street (1)
Elaine interviews the ever-fascinating Mr. Peterman for his biography, where she discovers his domestic side is unbelievably ordinary and boring.

J. Peterman
Kramer sells off his entire life’s stories to Mr. Peterman for $750, which Elaine then is forced to somehow turn into Peterman’s autobiography.

VERMONT (map)
Jerry plans four days at a bed and breakfast here with Ellen, when he is intervened by George and Kramer, as he is told she’s dating a loser.

Bloomingdale’s
1000 Third Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: Lexington Avenue – 59th Street (N,Q,R)
Kramer and George once again recommend that Jerry join the Bloomingdale’s Executive Training Program.

P&G Café (NOW CLOSED)
279 Amsterdam Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 72nd Street (1,2,3)
Kramer hosts a party for his new “financial venture,” but is kaiboshed from telling his pants story, as its now owned by Mr. Peterman. Kramer cannot divulge his Lorenzo’s story to George, who is actually now in trouble with the Van Buren Boys.

airport
Queens, NEW YORK (map)
Jerry leaves to pick up his parents, who he has flown in to meet and “review” Ellen, and ideally fly back home the same day.

Newman’s Apartment
Kramer starts to tell a story about dropping cold cuts into his foot bath, but after disgusting Jerry and Elaine, reveals he bought the stories from Newman for $8, thus the foot bath incident happened on Newman’s couch.

Universite de Sorbonne
1 Rue Victor Cousin, Paris, FRANCE (map)
Ellen mentions to Jerry and his parents that she got her Masters degree at the Sorbonne.

Las Vegas, NEVADA (map)
Jerry, already wanting to dump his current girlfriend Ellen, wonders aloud in front of his parents if his ex Amber is back from Vegas.